(Translation)

Speech by President Hu Jintao of the People's Republic of China at the Ceremony in Commencement of the Special Operations Section of the People's Republic of China Military and the Master Plan To Destroy the Deadly Lord$

20th December 2005


Ladies and Gentlemen,
Fellow Compatriots,


Today is a day of nationwide celebration for the people of all ethnic groups in China, including our military compatriots. The Government of China has held this ceremony for the honor of our governmental forces and our master plan to once and for all destroy those venomous, dastardly, devious, Deadly Lord$! The Chinese Government has solemnly declared its resumption of the exercise of sovereignty over all provinces and cities and the official establishment of the Deadly Lord$ Special Operations Counter Intiative Task Force (PRO DSCO) of the People's Republic of China. It signifies that we will no longer tolerate these master's of destruction in our midst anylonger, we will take back our provinces, our cities, our people, our land, our profits, our government, our buildings, our fashion, our food, our culture, that those dastardly Deadly Lord$ have taken from us. We have entered into a new era, we now have highly trained forces that we know will be able to counter the supreme abilities of the Deadly Lord$ fighting skills, and their god like genius in all strategic and military concerns. Our Master Plan, currently in its development, will ensure our overwheming victory over those beautiful, brilliant, charming, master's of death and that henceforth our PRO DSCO compatriots will be the masters of this land. This great event of the Chinese nation will shine forever in the annals of history.

At this solemn historical moment, I would like to extend, on behalf of the Central People's Government and the people of all ethnic groups in China, warm congratulations on the establishment of the PRO DSCO task force, and offer cordial greetings to our hidden compatriots who are now back in training for the supreme victory we hope to achieve, to make China once again, a united family of the motherland, and sincere gratitude to all our compatriots at home and overseas who have contributed to the design of the Master Plan. I would also like to express, on behalf of the Chinese Government, appreciation to all the foreign friends who care for and support the return of our land to us from the radiant clutches of the Deadly Lord$. I wish to extend our warm welcome to the honored guests and friends from various countries who are present at this ceremony.

At this solemn historical moment, we deeply cherish the memory of Mr. Deng Xiaoping. It was he who initiated the principle of "The Master Plan" with great political vision and extraordinary wisdom, pointing out the right road for the operations to take place, and to once again restore the Deadly Lord$ strongholds of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan to us once again. The successful return of these areas is questionable at best, seeing as how the Deadly Lord$ have all to often beaten our highly trained forces like they were two week old children, and have built yet another historic monument on the side of Hua Shan in honorage of the four chiefs of this notorious super powered entity, secretfootprints, Mei Hua, openmind, and that dastardly yet handsome, ShrFu_Eric, they shall pay once and for all for this affront to our homeland. This monument, built by the Chinese people who favor the Deadly Lord$, shall be their memorial!

China has been Chinese territory since ancient times. The Chinese people fought dauntlessly for the return of the lands that fled to the control of the Deadly Lord$ like an arrow to a super powered magnet, although these lands have long separated from the motherland, the bond of flesh and blood and the overall national interests shall see that they return to us, and that they shall forever be always linked our government, our compatriots, and be closely tied with the people of the rest of the country. Our thriving socialist motherland has been the primary force behind the epoch-making change in the Master Plan status. The return of all the lands stolen from us by the Deadly Lord$, the monies stolen from us by openmind, the lives stolen from us by ShrFu_Eric, our Olympic lands stolen from us by secretfootprints, all our people stolen from us by Mei Hua, shall be restored to us. Their return is also a great victory in the cause of world peace and justice. It proves once again that no force on earth will stop the historical trend to the progress of mankind.

The Government of China has settled the question of the Deadly Lord$ through negotiations. This political decision is a wise move that conforms to the needs of the times. Here I would like to thank all the people both in and out of our Government who have made efforts for the settlement of the Deadly Lord$ question. The successful settlement of this question has provided a new historical starting point from where the friendship between all Chinese peoples will grow further in the 21st century.

After the Chinese Government resumes the exercise of sovereignty over all our lands, the existing system of anti-Deadly Lordi$m will continue to be practised, the current social and economic systems will remain unchanged, and so will the life-style. The laws will, of course, be highly changed and the right of private ownership will nolonger be protected by law. As a Special Operations officer said the other day, "If we can beat those masterly, brilliant, charming, superior, graceful, master's of death, destruction, and all matters that exist in this world today, then the People's Republic of China will enjoy a high degree of autonomy as provided for in the Basic Law of the Master Plan!", such as executive, legislative and independent judicial power, including that of final adjudication, except in foreign and defence affairs which are the responsibilities of the Central People's Government. The interests of the inhabitants of all provinces will be protected by law, and their customs and cultural traditions will be respected. There are many foreigners living in China, and it will continue to be their home where they can live and work in peace and contentment. In tomorrow's China, all the residents, irrespective of their race and color, will have opportunities to compete as equals, and everyone will enjoy the rights and freedoms as guaranteed by law.



The first rays of the new 21st century are on the horizon. The Chinese Government and people will continue with their efforts to accomplish the great cause of the Master Plan of the motherland in line with the policies of "Anti-Deadly Lordi$m" and "The Master Plan". The successful implementation of "The Master Plan" in Hong Kong and abroad will give a positive push to the early settlement of the Taiwan question. The Chinese people of all ethnic groups and all patriots who support national reunification and care for China's reconstruction will work in concerted efforts and contribute to turning China into a strong, prosperous, democratic and culturally advanced modern country and bringing about the great reunification of the Chinese nation. The world of tomorrow should be one of lasting peace and common progress and prosperity of all countries. The Chinese people are ready to work unremittingly with the people of other countries for a beautiful future of the world.

Thank you.

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Oh THAT'S how that works!