The laws on carrying Spears on Apalachian trails is that you have to ask for her consent first. And make sure she has underwear on. And check for her latest weight, unless you are a strong person.

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"Fawning, but proud!" - (at least sometimes, in rare cases)
"Killing them all didn't make it any better..." - "Are you a freak or something ???" - Max Payne
"Theft is a crime, even in Iraq." - Me.